Has it really been 2 years? Two whole years since one of the best days of my life? Two whole years since my whoppin' 8 lbs. 1 oz., 21 1/2 inch absolutely precious little man entered this world and took his first big breath of fresh air and was laid in my arms. That moment...that VERY moment he stole my heart! Actually, he had already stolen my heart during the 9 months and 1 week that I was pregnant with him. Every little squirm, every BIG KICK, the amazing moments almost every day when he would get the hiccups...cherished moments!
For six long years, I had wanted so badly to have a child. To be called Mama by somebody who would depend on me for everything. There were actually times that I thought it would never happen. There was so much frustration, so many disappointments, so many tears. Times when I wanted to just say forget it and give up on my DREAM. But then, one day, it happened. I heard a song on the radio that made me realize that I didn't have to give up on MY DREAM. I just needed to hand my dream over to the ONLY ONE who had the power to make it come true. The song was called "Surrender" by BarlowGirl. If you've never heard it you should take the time to listen to it here. It just talks about how we hold on to our dreams for years and we try to MAKE them come to fruition on our own. Yet God has plans of his own and they may not always match up with what we think should be happening. Like I said, it took a WHILE, but once I was able to daily surrender my dreams to HIM and let him have control...it was all ok. I'm so thankful that I did end up being blessed with a child of my own, but I also realize that God could have chose otherwise for me. And I had finally gotten to a point in my life where I would have been okay with that. I had to realize that HE WAS ENOUGH...that I only needed Him. Not very easy and like I said it was a daily thing (and still is). Through this extremely tough time, I learned to trust in God a lot more and I also gained a new way of looking at other people who were dealing with hard situations. A new way of wanting to comfort others. I don't ever want to forget this trial.
Anyway...back to the birthday boy. So now the little bitty (chunky monkey) baby is about to be 2. I'm not sure if he wants to be 2 or not, but it's coming anyway (kinda like my 30th birthday came anyway this past Sunday). ha ha! I personally think that he is the cutest 2 year old on earth! Watching him grow and learn so many things has been an amazing journey. It seems like every day there is something new. Or something funny that I want to remember forever (when really it's hard for me to remember my name sometimes). The way he pronounces certain words, the way he looks at me when he says "I yuv you, Mama", and the way he puts his little hand on his heart when we tell him that we're saying a prayer (because he thinks we mean that we're going to say the PLEDGE TO THE FLAG). My little angel, my little man, my dream come true.
Be sweet, precious man. And have a wonderful, fun-filled 2nd birthday! Maybe this year you'll actually EAT some of your cake. :o)
Love you bunches!